Pastor's Wives

Prayer

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As I have been teaching the Spiritual Disciplines on Facebook Live with my Enneagram friends, I have wanted to share some ideas of how I stay focused in my prayer time. I have found, that the more I pray, the easier it is to just talk with God. But there are times when I am at a loss of what to pray for and I often forget to give God praise for answering prayers that I have lifted up to Him. I have two tools that help me in these times. The first is a set of prayer cards that give me guidance when I am flighty or unfocused during my prayer time. The second is a prayer journal page that helps me keep track of God’s amazing answers to prayers I have written here. Feel free to use these if they can help you on your journey.

Download the set of prayer cards and a prayer journal page here and use however you would like.

Meditations

Readiness

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Am I ready for whatever comes my way?

  • Going through a year of jumping through state hoops to become foster parents, we found out that our house did not pass inspection because our well was a few feet too close to our septic system.
  • After five years of working in a school system, I was laid off and turned down during several interviews.
  • As a young parent I watched our 1 ½ year old daughter turn grey in my arms and saw her resuscitated and later laying in the hospital in a bed with the cage around it.

All of these circumstances can rob us of our faith and hope or they can draw us into a deeper, more dependent relationship with the one who gives life.

John 16:33 says “I have told you these things, so that you may have peace. In this world you WILL have trouble. BUT, take heart! I have overcome the world.”

There are so many situations that come our way that take our breath away in one way or another. Hurts, losses and deaths have a way of showing where our faith truly lies. We will all go through the normal range of emotions when bad things happen, that is our initial human response, that’s OK, but then we have a choice to make.

  • Will we rely on who we know God to be or believe the lies that Satan feeds us?
  • Will we look for ways to grow and learn through the experience, or complain and retreat from our faith?
  • Will we acknowledge our emotions and work through them, or stifle and ignore the pain and struggle?

Are we ready to make the choices that move us forward and closer to God?

You will be happy to know that my daughter went through the medical issues positively and is healthy and active today. I am working at my dream job in the school system and we have learned that God had another plan for us as far as helping others. God is good, ALL the time!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this and if you have a different perspective on readiness.

Meditations

It Wasn’t Such A Bad Year – 2020

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This year has been anything but normal.  Many are glad to say goodbye to 2020, but I have truly been blessed this year.  We have added three new grandchildren to our family.  I have enjoyed spending more time with my husband as we had our first year officially as empty nesters, and I have been able to practice meditation and gratitude in new ways this year.

That doesn’t mean it did not hold it’s challenges.  One of our granddaughters born this year had cancer and had to undergo chemotherapy during all this Covid mess.  It was hard to not be able to be a physical support for my son and his family through it all.  She is doing amazing at this time and it is a joy to watch her grow and learn.

I also had to learn how to teach Geometry online.  If you are a teacher, or know a teacher, I am sure you have felt the pressure and time consumption that this occupation takes and it felt even more so as we went into virtual learning.  I am thankful that I am somewhat tech savy and did not have a huge learning curve for making videos, using a document camera and talking with my students through zoom calls.  It has been a challenge and I am very much looking forward to getting back in the classroom.

This new year holds no promise of being better or worse.  I belive that God is in control and that is all I need to know.  I will continue to enjoy my life, work through the trials with His help, and try not to complain because there is always something to give gratitude for.  May God truly bless you this year and I hope you find ways to enjoy your life in Christ.

Many of you have words of the year or verses of the year so I will share mine with you.

My word is: ANCHOR

My verses are:  Hebrews 6: 17-20

“So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.

Meditations

Giving

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Today my meditation was on Mark 12:44 NIV

“They all gave out of their wealth, but she, out of her poverty, put in everything – all she had to live on.”

I focused on the phrase “she gave out of her poverty” and started thinking: Where do I feel I am lacking?  How can I give out of that area of my life.

Also, she traveled to the temple to give so little.  She had a purpose and a conviction that wasn’t stopped by her inability to bless abundantly.  Do I ever not do something because I feel it is too small?

I started to write “Lord, show me how to give responsibly” but decided I should just say “Lord, show me how to give.”  It is up to him to use what I give responsibly.

Have a blessed day and share you see in this verse or read the whole section and share your insights.  We learn from each other :). God Bless.

Pastor's Wives

Self-Discovery

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As I am on my journey of self discovery (finally at age 50), I am learning how much I base my value on what I do.  It is hard for me to comprehend someone loving me just for me.  I feel like I have to do something to earn love and when I translate that to my Christian faith I always feel like a failure.  I am coming to understand more and more that God’s love is UNCONDITIONAL.   That means I do not earn it.  My head has always known this but I have not really lived that way.  Devotions, prayer, church, good deed all seemed, in my mind, to be ways of making myself worthy in God’s eyes. 

What is coming to light this year is that devotions, prayer, attending church and good deeds are ways that I connect with God.  I am still unworthy except for the advocate Jesus that washes away my sin and makes a way for me to approach the throne of grace.  Jesus makes me worthy and all the other stuff I DO should be out of love and relationship. 

I think the church has taught me that being a good Christians means to follow all the rules and do the right things.  Instead I think it should be teaching all the sources of connection available to us. 

Devotions

I was taught that devotions were what good Christians did.  I think a better wording would be that as a Child of God he wants to talk to me everyday through His word.  It is not because I am good that I read the Bible, it is because God wants to connect with me and that one way He provided for that is through His word. 

Prayer

As I have struggled to have a concentrated one hour prayer time each week, I have learned that prayer is not what I do because I am a good Christian.  Prayer is talking out my struggles, my questions, my unbelief with the God of the Universe who cares about those things in my life.  He wants me to cry, to yell, to be quiet, to feel the need to let it all hang out.  He knows it all any way and we try, instead, to be dignified in prayer.  If we follow Jesus’ example, he did not pray dignified prayers. He weep, he fasted, he sweat.  Do we put that much energy into the things we are asking God for?  Are we asking things so big that they make us sweat?  Are we asking for things that are so close to our emotions that we weep?  I hope the answer is yes, but I hear far to many Christians say their prayer time is in the car, or random prayers throughout the day.  There is a place for quick, anytime praying but there should be a place for those heart wrenching prayers when we get to the real heart of the matter.

Church Attendance

For many has become a social club mindset.  We go there to catch up with friends, to sing, and to hear what the pastor has to say but most of us do this out of obligation or duty.  When I hear people say they didn’t like this or that about a service, I wonder if they came for the right reason.  Did you come to connect with God and with other believers?  If so, unless the pastor and worship was not biblical, you should be able to connect.  It is not about making you happy.  It is about connection. 

Ask yourself if you are trying to find the love of God by doing something or by really knowing the He loves you and then just connect with Him in different ways to see how that love can change your life.

Meditations

Where Has the Power Gone?

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As a young child I remember going to our church prayer meeting on Wednesday nights and hearing the adults pray through the requests and burdens they were carrying.  They would pray over each other and help carry the burden of others that were suffering.  As a child I was usually bored and either sleeping or talking quietly to a friend in the back pew but I remember how fervently the adults prayed together.

I don’t see that anywhere any more.  We are all in our own little bubble of spiritual growth and seem scared to share our burdens and struggles and pray for each other out loud.  The spoken word is so powerful and yet we rarely pray this way any more.  We leave this to the pastor or church leader that is in charge of prayer time.

Our prayer times at church have also become just a hospital list.  A list of ailments not a list of spiritual battles.  Don’t get me wrong, we should be praying for our physical struggles but that is not ALL we should be praying for.  Where are the verbal cries for the lost in our families?  Where are the anguished pleas for the sin that is overtaking our towns?  Where is the fight for our families and friends trapped in addiction?  Where is the plea to be used by God to help those around us?

2 Timothy 3 begins this way:

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—  HAVING A FORM OF GODLINESS BUT DENYING ITS POWER.    Have nothing to do with such people.

Are we denying the power God wants to display because we are not calling out to Him? I believe the answer to seeing the power of God work in our families, in our churches and in our communities is through corporate prayer.  Praying together, fighting the battles together and being united for the cause of Christ.  Will you join a local prayer group and change your community for the better?

Meditations

3 Things I Lived in Fear Of

FEAR

This word has been brought to the forefront of my spiritual walk this last week.  Enjoying worship this past week, one of the songs that was highlighted was “No Longer Slaves” by Bethel Music.  One of the lines in that song hit me hard.  I could not sing it.  I could not bring myself to acknowledge before my God that I was “No longer a slave to fear.”  I know that I am a child of God but I still hold back.  I am not as free with my faith as He calls me to be, I don’t always do what He asks of me or follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance in daily decision because I am afraid.

What am I afraid of?

I think it boils down to three things:

  1. I am afraid of what people think. I haven’t been willing to be rejected, talked about, or even looked down on because of my faith.
  2. I am afraid I will fail. I don’t feel smart enough, strong enough or good enough to accomplish what He asks.
  3. I am afraid I am not worthy. Why would the God of the universe want to use me?

So, how do I overcome fear and live a life that can sing “I am no longer a slave to fear.”

I need to have a bigger picture of God.

I need to know His immeasurable love for me. His love is not dependent on my accomplishments or my abilities, He just loves me!

I need to know that God never wants me to fail and promised to walk with me through every path He leads me on.

I need to know that my life is not lived to impress or be approved by the people around me but that my value comes from who my Father is.

I AM A CHILD OF GOD!!  WOW!!

As I worshiped, prayed and cried this last week, I am learning more and more how to take the bondage of fear off and live my life in the freedom Christ offers.  It will be a journey, but I am excited to be on it.  Continuing to grow in my faith and free myself of my fears.

“I will fear NO evil for Thou art with me!” Psalms 23:4

Life Happens

Lessons from 2017

God is FOR ME not against me

I have known this in my mind for a long time but this past year I really understood that everything God asks of me or allows me to go through is not because he is against me or wants me to fail in any way, he is always FOR ME!  Romans 8:31 “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”  So we have to ask ourselves do we believe the “if” statement?  If we do, then nothing can stop us from doing what God has called us to do or stop us from growing in our faith as we go through things the world throws at us!

 

Anyone can benefit from having a coach

I have been setting goals and achieving SOME of them throughout my life but this past year I hired a coach that helped me see that I was doing things in my own strength and not relying on God’s power and purpose to accomplish things bigger than I could see.  I needed that coach to put my calling into action in a way that I could not see or even think about.  God lead me to a man that could pull me up in my faith.  My husband and I only met with this coach 4 or 5 times but those were life changing hours and I will always be thankful for them.  I think each one of us needs people in our lives that challenge us, pull us up in our faith and mentor us in the things we cannot see in ourselves.

 

I can write

“I am a math teacher, not an English teacher.”  This was my response to God every time he reminded me He had a purpose for me in writing.  So under the guidance of my coach, I just wrote.  I didn’t edit, I didn’t worry about how it sounded, I just wrote what was on my heart.  Then I hired really smart English people to edit my words and make them sound amazing!  Writing is not about the grammar, it is about the heart.  I learned that lesson this year and though I hope to become better in my writing I know that God just wants me to share my heart.  He will find people to help me do the rest but only I can write what I have experienced.

 

Watching my kids be grown ups is satisfying

I am enjoying watching my kids navigate the world, learn from their mistakes and use the gifts God has lavished on them for His glory.  I am one proud mama!  I know they are not perfect, I know they will have struggles, but the joy of seeing them lean on the Lord through each event is my greatest joy!

 

Adding new members to our family is fantastic

We experienced TWO of our sons getting married this year and am so thankful for the Godly women each has chosen.  Not only the girls themselves but the families that have become forever connected with us.  Each ceremony differed in many ways but the center theme for both was building a marriage on the firm foundation of Jesus Christ.  Again, proud mama!

 

Spending time with my grandkids is priceless

Having the kids live with us for half of the year has had its ups and downs; but when one of the boys cuddles, hugs, laughs or yells “grandma” my heart wants to explode.  I have learned to focus on the joyous times and make the most of the time they are here.  I do not know how far away they will move in the coming months so I have spent this year filling my mind with snapshots and video of our moments together.

 

I can learn new things

In writing my book I have had to learn three new computer programs, some computer code for the ebook format and a ton of steps that I didn’t know existed in the publishing process.  At first I wanted to hire everything out but that can be very expensive.  A wise friend told me that I can learn it all by just searching and reading and experimenting, so, that is what I did.  It was frustrating at times, I failed several times in the ebook coding, but in the end I have learned many skills I hope to pass on to others that are experiencing the same things I did.  It also gave me confidence in trying new things and experiment again.  We all did it as kids but have seem to become a little frightened by the word as we age.  I want to keep on trying new things and learning along my journey.

 

My husband is amazing

(I already knew this but this year just reaffirmed it)

 

David’s support for me this year has been astounding!  He has helped me write my book in any way he could imagine.  He came up with ideas to keep me going.  He never let me give up and found ways to help me focus.  I could not have asked God for a better partner in life and I am so full of gratitude for the love and support David gives me.  

 

This year has been full of lessons, experiences and gratitude.  I am looking forward to what God has in store for me this year.  He is the one in control and I just want to follow His lead.  

 

What did you learn in 2017?  Share in the comments!

Life Happens

Time with my best friend

This past weekend I attended a conference and was challenged to do a creative writing exercise.  I am a math teacher, which means I am a very logical, orderly thinker, so this was definitely a challenge for me.  So here it is.  Let me know your thoughts.

Being with a close friend is like a warm hug from a grandmother who smells of peppermint and cookies.  That feeling of comfort, peace and acceptance flow from the time I talk with my best friend.  He takes the time to listen as patiently as a mother listening to her three year olds questions over and over again. He waits for me to spill out my heart and to become still, quiet and ready to listen to His remedies for my struggles, sorrows and dreams.  When I take time to listen to my friend, he pours out his love for me.  Never making me feel like a wadded up, dirty dollar bill in the bottom of a farmer’s pocket but rather, like a crisp, clean, one hundred dollar bill hot off the press.  Clean, new and ready for my day.  I desire to spend my day on his ideas and plans.  My morning with my friend help me prepare and feel ready for my day.  Do you have a friend like Jesus?

Pastor's Wives

Leading Ladies

I have been struggling with how to write this blog for a while now.  I want you to know that I have nothing against women in leadership, women pastor’s and women teaching men.  However, I do have something against some of the attitudes our women leaders have.  As I have studied the bible and looked at women leaders there, they never demanded followers.  They did not expect respect as a leader because they were a woman.  They just did what God asked them to do and people took notice.  Deborah was not up in leadership because she was a woman but because she was just and righteous.  God put her in position, she did not put herself there.  She was strong, courageous and bold but knew who was really in control.

Men could not demand to be a leader either.  No one will willingly follow someone just because they say they are a leader.  They must display leadership, show respect to everyone and be just.  I know many wonderful women who are teaching classes, preaching sermons and serving in the ministry.  Those women are not talking about their right to be a leader, they are just leading and people take notice.

The women’s movement in America is creeping into the church.  Who of us has any right to lead or be in control?  What rights does Christ say that we have?  Our command is to follow Him, serve Him and obey what he calls us to do.  He will do the rest.  If you, as a woman, are called by God to lead (just as any man called by God to lead), you must still take up your cross daily and follow Him.  People will notice your God given abilities, you do not need to point them out.  Leaders that demand a following are missing the point.  We are called to lead people to follow Christ, not ourselves.

It is hard to follow someone who is tooting their own horn, someone who says I need to follow them because of their gender, whether male or female, or someone who demands my respect instead of earning it.  Please, follow that path that God has laid before you but do it in a way that leads people to Christ.  It will help all of us see each other’s strengths and come along side each other to reach the world for Christ.

I also realize that some women’s “demand” for leadership is a way for them to hide the insecurity they feel in being qualified to do what God has called them to do.  If this is the case for you, remember whose you are!  God never asked us to do anything by ourselves.  We have the all powerful, all knowing God with us and in us.  He can do more than we can imagine through us if we allow it to flow.  Don’t force it but let God use the abilities, personalities and experiences of your life to bring more people to Him.  He is more than enough.

 

Enjoying Life and Sharing the Journey